I wrote the other day that i was frustrated and i would tell more about it. I can do it now. This post may be long and seems totally not important for the most of you, but from this little incident, i am totally speechless in front of the injustice i am feeling. I don't tell that it is unfair, i just tell that i feel it like this. A lot of you readers may just think that it is an i-land problem, that there are much worse things in the world and you are right. On my little scale, i feel treated unfairly and so it goes.
I got a new job since last winter and since it is a new area for me, i wanted to study a little law and right in order to be fitter and understand a little more the big perspective in things. I found a nice distance course in a swedish university, that would begin next spring for 6 months, i thought it was a good way to learn about things i don't know and get some credits for it, who knows. So in september, i sent all my old grades from school and also heard that i needed to write a test in swedish to proove that i have a certain level. I mean, kind of arrogant when you know that i have been living here more than 7 years. But ok, i paid the 1600 SEK and registered for the unique test of this year, at the end of october.
The other day, i was looking on the website to see if everything came to the center of registration and i read that i needed to proove my level in swedish and english. Pfuii, i know for the swedish thing, but i need to take the test first, and i wrote it in my registration, even called before and heard that it was ok to send pappers until december the 3rd. But that with english? I already had sent my TOEFL results, from 2006, so why wasn't it enough?
I called this morning the registration center and got my explanation: all the years i had english at school are counting for nothing because i had german as first foreign langage. And what about all the years of study after, where i took it back with english as first? What about my TOEFL level i sent with all my grades? No, impossible to count that with, the TOEFL papper is too old (from 2006...). The result of this is that, if i don't take the TOEFL test again (250$ US), they will just throw away my registration. The matter is not that i am bad at writting, talking and insulting in english, no the problem is just that my papper is too O L D. Can you get it? I definitely C A N ' T. I can't understand why they absolutely refuse to look at what i have studied, admit that it is ok and let me study more. I can't understand why Sweden doesn't make the choice to count with the cheapest taxe payers they have. I came in Sweden as an adult, I have been educated in France, who paid for it and so far, i worked every single day and paid my taxes as often since i moved here. I am healthy (thank who wants) and willing to be a good citizen and i just can't see why it should be so hard to accept that my 570 points at the TOEFL 2006 are OK to take a class in swedish about law. Just because TOEFL is an institution that makes its own rules and wants to earn money with that?
Until this morning, i was firmly decided to fight this idiotical rule and make it change, but honestly, after a 40 minutes run in the cold rain tonight, i am more feeling totally dissapointed and the lesson about all this is: it doesn't matter how hard you may work at school, if you don't fit in the frame, you are nobody. (But if there is one young people reading this, keep on working at school, but never forget to be ready to show your middle finger somehow later...)
All this may sound for you as first class problem, the one that doesn't matter but if this happens in every situation someone is a little outside the box, this is sad. Like getting to the hospital because something hard happened and "no sorry, we can't take care of you, you can't recognize you in our registers". I have never felt any racism against me in all my years abroad, maybe thank to my blue eyes and my good education, but now, from today, i can understand why people can feel like shit when you, somehow, are not enough for a society.
And for those who wondered: this is not a recognized english i am writting in. I am sorry for that.